Formal Events Suck BEDA

So I’d like to talk about some of the crazy stuff we do as women to get ready for important events, as I have one tomorrow night. I mean like formal events. The type where women wear dresses and heels. I don’t know if anyone really thinks about it, but those events are so bad for women’s self esteem and stuff. Men think women dress for them, but the truth is that it’s all about the other girls. We judge each other a lot. I don’t know if guys know this, but the preparation for these things starts months in advance. At least two week, but up to a few months, before the dress shopping starts. We go to multiple stores and try on dresses. Half of them don’t fit, a bunch make you look awful. These things are literally made slightly smaller than actual sizes, and most women can only wear like three styles. They are also hugely uncomfortable. For me personally I’m a fan of the ‘it fits, and I don’t look fat, I’m buying it’ approach. Some women though are even pickier. Here you also have to think about the judgments. If it’s too long you’re a nun. If it’s too short you’re a hooker. If you show a lot of cleavage you’re a slut. If you show none then you have no chest, even if you do. Then there is all the rest of the shopping. Finding shoes to wear to these events is a careful balance. If you wear heels that are too high people will say you look like a hooker. If they’re too short or wedges it looks like you don’t know how to walk in real heels. Not even to mention how uncomfortable heels are. If you wear flats then women assume you can’t wear heels, plus the stuff the bottoms are made of sticks to floors. Let’s just say it: Women will judge you based on your shoes. If you keep them on, take them off, what style they are, how they match your outfit, etc. There is a lot to buying shoes. Then there’s jewelry. It has to look nice. If you don’t have money then you have to figure out what your gonna do. You can’t buy things that look fake, but real stuff is expensive. Plus you have to decide if you want to make a statement with your accessories. If you have money you have to make sure not to buy anything too showy, but nothing too casual either. Now about two days before the actual getting ready starts, which is outrageous. Women are obsessed with being tan. They’ll either go tanning, or buy fake tan, or use a natural remedy around this day. It’s enough time for it to fade, but enough that it’ll still be there. If you can tell it’s a fake tan, instant judgment. If you’re too pale, judgment. Plus women will use something on their faces to make sure their skin is perfectly clear. This is also when they’ll start whitening teeth if the method take multiple days, like many natural methods. The day before, women shave and practice all their makeup. That’s right people. Women practice the hair and makeup stuff at least once. It has to be perfect, so they make sure it’s all gonna work perfectly. Plus you have to shave the day before, in case you get razor burn or anything like that. Then comes the day of the event, which is really stressful. The whole process takes hours. First, women are gonna do their nails. These have to be done early so they have time to dry. But they can’t be done in advance, because chipped nail polish is tacky. They have to match your accessories, but not too closely. It’s a fine line. Too much and you look like you are trying too hard. Too little and then you just had them done for something else. After you have your nails done, and hours have been spent letting them dry and doing nothing else you’ll move on. I do mean hours. They have to have firmly set. There are tricks to help here. Ice water, out the door top coats, or all sorts of other tricks women use. The next step is to shower. You have to really wash your hair and make sure it’s conditioned well because it’s probably gonna undergo some significant heat later. You have to wash your face and spot treat any pimples you may still have. Then comes the hair. You’ll blow dry it out. Then comes the curlers/straighteners and products. Now if your hair is hardened by products that’s tacky. If your style comes out before the night is over it’s also not okay. Too wild of curls are also bad. Wavy hair isn’t okay, because it looks like you don’t know what you wanted. Once your hair is done you’ll do your makeup. This starts with bronzers. Then foundation. Once all that base stuff is done comes the real makeup. Too much and you’re a prostitute. Too little and you’re a child. There’s even more judgment here that I won’t get into, but including eye makeup, lipstick, blush, and everything else. Then you get dressed. Once you’re dressed you touch everything up again. It’s all a mess and takes up the whole day. You know you’re going to be judged anyway, but we try really hard not to be. It’s really frustrating for me. Maybe if we could all be nicer to each other this whole ordeal would be easier and more fun for us all. May life be as awesome as you are and DFTBA!